1. If your sinuses haven’t turned to Nickelodeon Gak and dripped out your nose after a meal, you feel empty and unsatisfied.
2. You have YOUR brand.
3. Or, let’s be honest, BRANDS.
4. You saturate everything with hot sauce before you even taste it because, come on.
5. You have EXTREME emotions about being either pro- or anti-Tabasco.
6. AND Sriracha. Don’t even get you STARTED on Sriracha.
7. Your friends only made the mistake of asking for a bite of your Thai food once.
8. You laugh in the face of threatening hot sauce names.
9. And labels.
10. You have a favorite flavor of Cholula.
11. When choosing your packets at Taco Bell, you have only one request:
12. You are solely responsible for your office’s hot sauce stash, and you curate it with the intensity of an art director at the Louvre.
13. This is what your eggs always look like:
14. Your co-workers ask you for advice about which kind of hot sauce to use on their lunches.
15. Everyone else after they eat kimchee:
17. Your kitchen utensils have melted under the power of the SAUCE.
18. You carry your own personal bottle around wherever you go.
19. You’ve eaten so much hot sauce that this is you eating those peppers at the Olive Garden:
20. You keep at least one bottle on your desk for bland-lunch emergencies.
21. When you spot another person dousing their food in the sauce, you’re like:
22. This is what the backseat of your car looks like:
23. Your friends bring you back hot sauce souvenirs from their travels.
24. Your local restaurant server knows all about your addiction — and is always prepared.
25. You’ve started several fights by insisting on visiting hot sauce stores when you’re on a family vacation.
26. OR you’ve planned a whole trip around a hot sauce EXPO.
27. You’re pretty sure your tastebuds have gone the way of Charlie Sheen’s career, but you don’t care because THIS IS LOVE.